You can fry anything...

The greatest lesson I've learned while spending time covering and attending the Tulsa State Fair is that you can fry anything. Pickles, Oreos, cheesecake, mullets, just about anything is a little better with some fry batter on it. Okay, maybe not pickles, just ask Chera.

Indeed, the Fair is in town, and FOX23 is focused on the fun and festivities. We're also keeping an eye out for safety and security, and making sure everyone on the fairgrounds, even the furry and fuzzy, are being taken care of the best they can be.

Other times, we just play One Throw Milk Toss.

I'll be heading out to the fairgrounds later today, to overcome my fear of fair rides. I picked the wrong day to do it, as a couple of little kids are recovering and developing their own fear of poorly constructed portable rides. I am undeterred, however, so be sure to look for parts of me on the Zipper later this week.

Dismemberment probably sounds like a nice alternative for Wall Street traders this morning, as the market prepares for a day of either rebounds or further falls. The whole world is now catching "economic disaster fever," which is a lot like "Pac-Man Fever" except the little yellow pellets are anti-depressants and the ghosts are stock portfolios.

Of course, you don't have to have stocks, bonds, or debt to struggle in these uncertain times. Even the sure things in life, like dangerous and fairly new methods of laser surgery, are plagued with financial uncertainty.

Things look even worse overseas, where even a pastoral walk to a place of worship can get serious and deadly very quickly. Luckily my neighborhood is religiously intolerant. We stay in our houses and worship (insert deity of choice here) in peace.

Okay, let's see what else is going on today:

* Oh, thank God, that Blink 182 reunion can happen after all.

* "Scientists" have finally improved upon the hamster wheel. I'm expecting a better rock for lizards to sun themselves on by week's end.

* Everyone knows Iron Man comes out on DVD today. At least, everyone I hang out with. Less publicized, however, is the release of David Hasselhoff's own 1998 attempt to be a Marvel Comics hero. I know which one I want. Hint: It's the one with the c-list actor wearing an eyepatch and smoking a cigar. Hint #2: It's the Hoff!

* There's snow on Mars! Great, another place I won't be able to get my grandmother to come visit me.

* Finally, we missed Talk Like a Pirate Day, which really bums me. I'm not making the same mistake with Monkey Day. We're starting our preparations early. Expect screeching and poo-flinging in the near future.