Monday, September 29, 2008

And away we go...

Good morning, Tulsa, Oklahoma and the rest of the known universe! This is the DB! The officially unofficial blog for FOX23 News Daybreak, a raucous little upstart of a morning show in beautiful midtown Tulsa. This is where we will discuss in-depth the news of the day, the nonsense of the day, and whatever other shenanigans is shaking around the hollowed out dome that is my head.

First and foremost, it is important for you to know that the views contained herein do not, in any way, constitute the views of FOX23 News, its affiliates, advertisers, staff, viewers, and random passers-by. It does, however, constitute views better than theirs. So, saddle up, cowpokes, we're about to take a crazy trip across Tulsa, Oklahoma, and the world!

Or we might just talk about Batman. Definitely one of the two, though.

NEWSFLASH! The Tulsa State Fair is in town, and the most important question remains unanswered. Why is it called the Tulsa STATE Fair?! Shouldn't it be the Tulsa County Fair, the Tulsa City Fair, or perhaps, and brevity guide me on this, simply the Tulsa Fair?! Unless there was a massive state name-changing initiative I missed (highly likely, I'm in bed by 7pm) Tulsa is the name of a city within the state, and not the state itself. Oh well, at least fair security makes sense.

NEWSFLASH! The US Navy is cracking down on pirates! This is awesome news, and I'm glad to see the US Navy breaking the stereo type that they're just a bunch of well-dressed men with jaunty caps. However, am I the only one who noticed that the word "pirate" was outside our normal lexicon between the years of 1852 and 2003. For almost 200 years, not a word about pirates, and now the salty seadogs are suddenly back on the world stage. Personally, I blame Johnny Depp.

NEWSFLASH! The Oklahoman, the official newspaper of anyone who isn't reading the Tulsa World, has undergone a redesign. The new design seems to mimic webpage layout, with a series of news blurbs running down the right side of the front page, even infringing upon the paper's own title. Does this make sense? The beauty of lots of small content on a webpage is that it gives a reader options without having to load whole other pages. In the days of 56K, this was crucial. However, if you buy a newspaper, you get the whole thing, in front of you, and you are free to flip through the weighty tome at your leisure. Do we really need bullet points and mini-articles on every page just to pander to the smallest of attention spans. I mean, how easily distracted do they think we Hey are those cookies? I love cookies. Nom nom nom.

NEWSFLASH! So far, I'm not loving this whole "NEWSFLASH!" thing. It sounded cool on the first item, but now I grow tired of it. Begone!

BREAKING BLOG! Nah, that's just sorta silly.

ITEM! Too simple.

* Oooooh, I like it, but it sort of rips off this guy. Oh well, steal from the best.

* Oklahoma is kicking off a new anti-meth campaign, Oklahoma Crystal Darkness, to keep kids away from the dangerous and subversive drug. I'm always for new anti-drug campaigns, I like to keep the locals from stealing and pawning my stereo equipment just as much as the rest of you, but I'm always hesitant when adults, especially politicians and their ilk, attempt to talk to kids about drugs. I think at some point, as we age, we hit some sort of threshold where we completely forget how to communicate with anyone under the age of 18. So, instead of talking to them, we talk down to them. We have to handle this meth issue right, because if we wait too long, we'll only be able to talk down to them, because the crystal darkness will have fried their brains into a sort of sticky paste.

* Now this kind of anti-drug stuff, on the other hand, seems perfect. It's quick, to the point, and effective. If only the folks behind Crystal Darkness could find a way to paint a sign that rots out your teeth, destroys your career and home life, and makes your reproductive organs shrivel like wilted flower petals. That would keep the kids off the junk!

* Of course, this exhibit of artwork based around microscopic and other scientific imagery suggests sobriety may have its shortcomings.

* Check it out! The Boss is playing the Super Bowl!

* Not into sports or ridiculously awesome music? Well, how about a nice banned book! The list for 2007 is out, and this is banned book week, the perfect time to pick up one of these "dangerous" volumes. I love how every year Mark Twain makes the list. Yes, I understand, Huckleberry Finn shows the ignorance of race relations toward the end of the 19th century, and it does drop the N-word more times than a Fifty Cent album, but Twain's purpose in telling this story in this way was to show how acceptance and understanding could win over closed-minded ignorance. The lesson is in the book, but you have read the book, even the uncomfortable parts to truly get it.

* Finally, the Harvey Awards are out! Comics longest running and most prestigious awards, the Harvey's highlight some of the best in comic books, graphic novels, web comics, and other forms of sequential art. Sure, Batman didn't make the list, but his ol' pal Superman did!

2 comments:

felts32 said...

this blog inspires me, knowing that someone with this vast amount of knowledge of worldly events will taken the time to enlighten the rest of us about what he does and his world.

newsjunkie said...

Retraction: FOX23 is located in beautiful East Tulsa...not beautiful mid-town.

That beautiful part of East Tulsa near the Whataburger...pay by the hour hotels and cursed strip mall where businesses never survive.


Word Up.